


A Gift of Love

by JezebelParks



Category: Shaman King (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Drama, Eventual Romance, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-18
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-23 12:12:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18151739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JezebelParks/pseuds/JezebelParks
Summary: Yoh has Anna, Ren has no one and he wants to keep it that way. However, his parents have other plans. Most kids get toys or clothes for their birthday. Ren gets something else...





	1. The Worst Present Ever

Ren glared at the girl standing on the opposite side of the room, gritting his teeth. He had been so happy that morning, it being his 16th birthday, knowing that a celebration would be held for him. Of course the prospect of gifts had crossed his mind and excited him even more.

Yet here he was, about to lose himself in a feast of peach buns and milk, when his parents had announced that they had one last "gift" for him. He had hoped it was polish for his kwan dao or maybe even a new cape. It wasn't. They had pulled a girl out instead.

A man standing behind the girl pushed her forward, more into the light. From where he was, Ren could make out her ear-length black hair, as well as her clothes. She stood before him in a dark blue traditional orient blouse with three-quarter length sleeves and white fasteners. Simple tight shorts could be seen above her knees from under a short skirt the same color as her top. He wanted to spit.

The man, who he presumed was her father, must have expected her to continue moving forward, for he gave her another forceful push, allowing two long thin braids to come into view from under her hair. She looked back at him nervously and began taking small steps toward her recipient, not taking her eyes off the floor the whole time. Ren looked back at his parents, obviously annoyed.

"What is this?" he cried motioning to the girl before him.

His parents exchanged amused glances.

"That there, Ren, is your new fiancée," his mother said simply.

Ren's eyes widened, then went back to their cold stare. He turned back to the girl as her father nudged her forward again. She finally looked at Ren, giving him the first clear glimpse of her face. He quickly decided there was nothing especially beautiful about it. She wasn't ugly, but she wasn't a swan either. Her body contrasted with her face too greatly; her face was slightly round, whereas her body was thin.

His frown deepened.  _Her body is so skinny that I could snap her in half if I wanted to. She looks malnourished._ He looked up as she took another step toward him.

"I am honored, Lord Ren," she said, bowing.

"This is Xu Pin-Mei," his father said. "She will be serving as your wife when you both become of age."

"What are you talking about?" Ren turned around, enraged. "I told you before that I may be part of this family, but I am going to walk my own path! I refuse to participate in this!"

"It has already been decided," his father replied. "You must carry on the shaman legacy of the Tao family and keep the blood pure, and that is why the engagement between you and Pin-Mei has been arranged."

His son looked back over at her. She had once again taken to looking at the ground with her hands folded in front of her. When she noticed his gaze she looked up again, her cheeks flushed. He knew that there was nothing he could do to get rid of the girl at this point in time, so he relented only so that he could finally have the birthday feast he had been looking forward to.

"Escort her to the dining room," his father commanded.

Ren again showed his disapproval of the situation, but the adults passed him, his fiancée only moving after her father had passed her. She stopped in front of him allowing him to notice that he was nearly a foot taller than her.

"I'll play along for now, but know that we are not getting married," he said coldly as he turned to walk into the dining hall. She followed and passed him as they entered.

"Of course not," she whispered. "Who'd want to marry an arrogant brute like you?"

By the time her words had registered in his head, she had already sat down next to the head of the table, the seat he would be sitting in. Part of him thought he had imagined it. She had acted so timid before. Blushing even. What happened?

He didn't take his eyes off of her as he took his seat. As they ate, they'd catch each other's eye, and she'd smile sweetly, making him even more confused.

As he finished a bottle of milk, he looked to the basket the other bottles were kept in. There was only one left. As he reached for it, a quick hand snatched it away. After staring at the empty basket for a few moments, his hand still outstretched, he looked up to see Pin-Mei taking the cap off. His rage built as she removed the inner covering, acting as if nothing had happened. With a shaking fist, he was about to yell at her when she handed him the bottle.

"Here."

Again, he was frozen in mid-motion. She was smiling again. He was beginning to really hate that smile. From the corner of his eye, he noticed that the entire table was watching them.

"Darling, aren't they so cute? They're getting along already!" he heard his mother cry.

He was more puzzled than he had ever been in his sixteen years of living. He  _knew_  she was just trying to trick him, and he wasn't going to fall for it. He would be civil, but he would  _not_  be deceived by this girl.

When he had snapped back to reality, he saw that she had placed the bottle near his left hand, despite the fact that she was sitting on his right. Her face was red again. He just wanted this day to end, even if it was his birthday. He just wanted her to leave.

When dinner had ended, Pin-Mei rose and collected all the dishes, as well as Ren's empty milk bottles that had gathered around him, and put them near the sink to be washed.

 _At least she'll be leaving soon_ , he thought.

"We'll have to have a similar banquet when Pin-Mei's birthday arrives," his mother commented.

"Ah yes," En agreed. "When is that again?"

"Not until the twelfth of July," her father replied. "She will be fifteen at that time."

 _Fifteen!_  Ren thought.  _No wonder she acts so childish—she's a year and a half younger than me!_

When she returned, their parents turned to them.

"Ren, darling, please take Pin-Mei up to her room."

Inside, Ren wanted to scream. She was STAYING here? For how long? Never mind that. Just why was she here at all? If he had to be engaged to someone, could they have at least picked someone his age? Or at least within his maturity bracket?

They went up the stairs in silence. He looked back to see her looking at her feet, a small smile on her face. How annoying.

"What are you smiling about?" he asked coldly.

"Nothing really," she replied as he opened the door to her room. "It's just nice to see you again, Niisama. Goodnight." She smiled as she closed the door.

Ren just stared at it. "Bason."

His spirit appeared next to him. "Yes, Bocchama?"

"Have you seen that girl before today?"

"Yes, Bocchama."

Ren smirked as he turned to walk toward his own room. "Enlighten me."


	2. Koi Koi Koi

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Ren is Chinese, but I'll still be using Japanese honorifics and such, because I don't know Chinese, and therefore am unfamiliar with any honorifics they have and how they are used.
> 
> "koi" is a Japanese word with many meanings. It can mean "carp", "love/tenderness", "request", and many other things.

"Play nice, you two," Ran called from the door.

"Yes, Mother," her son grumbled as he looked at the small girl standing next to him.

"Ren-Niisama! Come play with me!" she cried tugging lightly on his hand.

He glared at her and shook himself free. "I don't have time for your childish games. I have to train with Bason." He turned and began walking away.

The little four year-old gave a few whimpers, then began to cry, her volume getting so loud that the six year-old she was with had to cover his ears. He quickly ran over to her and covered her mouth.

"Silence, you little pest!" he growled, and she obeyed. He rolled his eyes and sighed before removing his hand. "Fine, I'll indulge you for a little while, but that still doesn't change the fact that you're a pest."

She didn't seem to hear the last part. Her eyes lit up and she grabbed his hand once more as she ran toward the koi pond on the far side of the yard. She knelt at the water's edge in her silk navy blue pants and blouse, peering into the cloudy water at the plethora of fish swimming around before her. Ren stood behind her in a silk yellow top and black pants, his arms folded and looking around, obviously bored.

 _Why am I always the one that has to entertain people?_  he thought.

It  _was_  always him. His parents frequently invited people over so he could demonstrate his shaman abilities. After a while, he got sick of it. Just like how he was sick of the little worm in front of him.

"Hey, Niisama, can I feed them?" she asked.

He took a sack off a hook on a nearby tree and threw it at her. "Go crazy." When he saw her intently feeding the fish he slipped away to another part of the yard. Bason followed him in spirit ball mode.

"Bocchama, are you sure it's alright to leave her alone?" he asked, careful not to anger his master.

"I was alone at that age so I don't see why she can't be too," he replied. "She can't get into any trouble where she is now."

He stopped in a clear part of the yard and began going through his martial arts forms. He was about to move onto his eighth form when he thought he heard a splash. Bason appeared in front of him moments later.

"Bocchama! The young mistress has fallen into the lake!"

"What?" he cried, turning to look behind him. He could almost see her little arms flailing about.  _Then again_ , he thought,  _I didn't want her around from the start._  He almost resumed his pose when his own voice came into his head.

_Why is everyone dead? Why are humans so dirty?_

"Ren-Niisama!"

He flinched. He'd seen enough dead people to last a hundred lifetimes, and despite the fact that he may not have thought too highly of the little brat it would be one more dead body he'd have to see. For his own selfishness, he didn't want that.

He threw off his shirt and bolted for the pond. When he got there, she was barely keeping herself above water. His body was frozen as he stared at her. She started going under. Without another thought, he kicked off his slippers and jumped into the water.

Bason watched and waited for his master to resurface, cursing himself for not having a physical body. Ren came up a few moments later with the small girl in his toned arms, panting. He sat on the stone around the pond, still holding her. She choked a couple of times, then began crying, but not as loud as before, partially due to the fact that she was against his chest. Every so often she would sob "Niisama…", but he remained unaffected by her words, holding her only enough so that she wouldn't fall. Her small ponytails tickled his hands, but he refused to show any emotion.

She unexpectedly clutched his back, causing him to let out a small sound of confusion.

"H-Hey! Sto-"

"Thank you Niisama!"

He looked at her. She was smiling that stupid smile again, even though her eyes were still red from crying.

"If Niisama hadn't saved me, I wouldn't be here right now. Thank you!"

He put her on the ground, mumbling a "You're welcome", and began walking back to where he had been before the incident. Out of the corner of his eye he could see her following him. He ignored her.

As he got into a stance he noticed that she had gone to sit on one of the rocks. At least she wasn't going to bother him. It was weird for him to have someone watching him as he trained. She didn't speak at all, just silently watched him for the two hours that he stayed out there. When he finally decided to go in and began heading towards his house, she didn't move.

He rolled his eyes and turned to her. "Come on, brat, we're going in."

Although the sun was setting, he could see her face light up. "Okay, Ren-Niisama!" She jumped off the rock and ran to catch up with him. He sighed again.

"Stop calling me Niisama. I'm not your brother."

Her face twisted in thought. "Okay, Ren-Pyon!" she said finally.

He sighed. "That's even worse. Fine, just call me whatever you want. I don't care anymore."

They walked in silence for a few moments. Just as he began to enjoy it, it was broken.

"Ne, Niisama?"

"What?"

"Can I have a Bason?"

The spirit and his master stopped. "What are you babbling about? You can't have Bason. I've had him since I was an infant. He's been in our family for generations."

"But…But…Jun has one. I want one too!"

"Jun has Pyron, not Bason. Plus, he's a doll, not an integration spirit."

"I want a spirit!"

He made a disgusted face and kept walking. "Ask your father for one. It's not my responsibility." She waddled after him.

"He won't give me one!"

"Well, there you go. Nothing I can do."

Pin-Mei stopped where she was and started crying again. "But I want one too!" she wailed. Ren whirled around and glared at her with dagger-like eyes.

"Stop acting like such a spoiled brat! Honestly! You're so annoying! Now I wish I had let you drown!"

The little girl was silent for a moment, then plopped down on the ground and cried again. He turned back around and walked quickly, eager to get far enough away from her so she could not be heard. However, that little voice inside stopped him, and he found himself in front of her again.

"What the hell is wrong with me?" he mumbled to himself. He looked down at her. She was still hiccupping tears, the little baby.

"Stop crying," he commanded. She immediately quieted down. "If you grow up a little, I'll take you to the cemetery after dinner and help you get a spirit."

She stared at him. "Really, Niisama?"

"Yeah, but only if you stop annoying me."

She stood up, a new resolve in her eyes. "Okay! I won't annoy you anymore! I promise!"

"Great…"

* * *

"Hey, Niisama? What are you doing?"

"Lifting weights."

"Oh…What's that do?"

"Makes me stronger."

"Oh…Why do you want to do that?"

"Didn't you promise that you wouldn't annoy me anymore?"

They were in Ren's weight room - Ren on the machine, Pin-Mei just watching. Now she wouldn't leave him alone. Since he had helped her get her spirit she insisted on following him everywhere. It took all his strength not to yell at her, especially at times like this when his physical strength was being used.

"Sorry, Niisama."

"Whatever."

He got off the machine and walked to the far side of the room to retrieve a towel. It was then that Pin-Mei finally made him snap.

"Ne, Niisama, what's that picture on your back?"

For a moment, Ren was silent. In his mind's eye he could see himself strapped to a table in the torture chambers, tears in his eyes as his father carved into his back. His screamed were ignored, disregarded as weakness.

His hand clenched the towel. Suddenly, it was in shreds.

"Get out."

"What?"

"I SAID GET OUT!"

"I don't understand, Niisama! Why are you so mad?"

"Aren't you listening to me?" He snatched his Kwan Dao from a rack on the wall and turned around, pointing it at her. "GET OUT."

She screamed and ran out of the room.


	3. The Emblem

The next morning at breakfast, Ren refused to look at Pin-Mei. He wouldn't allow himself to. However, he could sense her looking at him from time to time, which made him feel just a little awkward.

"Ren, darling, do you like your food?" his mother asked from across the table.

He gave her a confused look. "Yeah…I guess…" Why was she asking him this?

"Then thank Pin-Mei, she made it."

Despite himself, Ren looked at her. She looked up at him, meeting his gaze for half a second, then suddenly becoming completely entranced by her porridge. He turned back to his own food. Tricked again, but it was for the last time. He was  _not_  going to let her win him over.

"I mean, it's  _okay_ , but I've had better even at Asakura Yoh's house," he said calmly as he took a bite.

There was a splurting sound as Pin-Mei spit back into her bowl. Her face turned red with embarrassment when she realized what she had done.

"S-Sorry…I got some caught in my throat…U-Um…Excuse me." She quickly exited the room. Ren smirked. Another point for him. At this rate she'd be begging to have the engagement annulled, and then he'd be free. He got up and headed for the weight room.

As he rounded a corner, a blade appeared before his neck. He looked over to see Pin-Mei in a black orient halter top and long skirt holding a Hanwei Dadao before her.

"How dare you embarrass me like that, Niisama," she said quietly.

It was official: this chick was crazy.

"Don't you think it's unwise for you to point that at me?" he replied calmly. "Besides, you think too highly of me to do such a thing." After looking at her grip on the weapon, he added, "Oh look, you're shaking."

"Shut up…" she whispered. "You were always so mean to me. That's why I'm giving it back to you."

"Giving what back?"

"Those horrible feelings; that negative energy you've always given me."

Ren grinned. He knew how to play with her. "Alright then, do as you will."

"What?"

"Weren't you going to slit my throat? Go on, do it."

Her hand started shaking even more. Slowly, the blade was lowered. His grin grew wider. He was about to release some more harsh words upon her, but as he opened his mouth, the sound of quick intakes of breath stopped him. He looked over to see Pin-Mei staring at the ground, her face invisible to him.

"What…" she whispered. "What do I… Niisama…what do I have to do…" She raised her head, revealing her tear-streaked face to him. "What do I have to do to make you notice me?" she finally finished. Her head drooped again.

Attention. She wanted something as trivial as attention. She had called him a brute when he had rejected their engagement. She had put a blade to his neck because he insulted her cooking. She had remembered him when he didn't bother to remember her. Now she was crying, and he, for once, didn't know how to react. It was one thing to insult HoroHoro or Ryu, or even Yoh. They were guys – that’s just how they interacted with one another. A delicate girl like this was another story.

As a man, it was a rule to some to never make a woman cry, though chivalry had never meant anything to him. Even so, he realized that it may have been a little harsh to insult her cooking. Women were sensitive about that sort of thing.

He walked toward her. She heard him and lifted her head, expecting him to come stand in front of her, but he opted to pass her instead. He stopped beside her.

"Thanks for breakfast," he mumbled.

He continued walking.

"Niisama…" she whispered. Her eyes welled up with tears again. "Thank you…"

He sighed as he turned the corner. "Brat."

* * *

 

Later on that day, Ren was still in the weight room. He was in the middle of a water break when the door opened.

Pin-Mei peeked her head in, then entered, closing the door behind her. He glanced at her once, then threw his empty water bottle over his shoulder and went resumed his workout. She inhaled, almost as if to gather her courage, and went to lean on the wall opposite to him. There was silence except for the clanging sound of weight. It wasn't until he got up to go take a shower that she moved.

"Niisama, here's a towel." She held it out to him. He took it, but didn't look at her.

"Thank you." He turned his back to her and headed for the attached shower. She followed him.

He gripped the door handle and froze, then looked back and gave her a disgusted look. "Are you planning on getting in with me?"

Her face turned red. "N-No! Of course not!" she cried. "It's just…"

"What?" He was getting annoyed. He hated feeling dirty.

She shrunk. "Promise you won't get mad?"

"Just spit it out already!"

"Where did your emblem go?" she said in a loud voice.

He chuckled, then turned to her. "Well, isn't this a familiar scene?"

She bit her lip.

"You're expecting me to yell again, aren't you?"

No response.

"Answer me."

"Y-Yes…"

"Heh." He had to admit, she was so much fun to play with. "Well, I'm not going to."

"Y-You aren't?"

"No." He motioned to the bench press. "Sit."

She scuttled over to it and sat. He joined her.

"Have you ever met someone who completely changed your life?" he asked her suddenly.

She turned her head away from him a little, hiding a crimson face. "Y-Yes."

"I have. Asakura Yoh."

She turned back to him. "Who?"

"One of the laziest, most laid back, yet strongest people I've ever met. Asakura Yoh. I met him years ago during the Shaman fight. He was the first person aside from Jun to fully accept and understand me."

She looked away again. "I see…"  _...I did…_

"He helped me save myself. I finally wasn't alone anymore. The night we both passed the preliminaries, I went to his house and met his friends. I went into an onsen for the first time in my life." He smiled. Pin-Mei turned back to him and tilted her head.

"I finally had friends. Early in the morning, though, I returned here to defeat my father and rid myself of this hatred he had sealed inside me since my birth. That emblem symbolized that hatred, and I carried it along with me all those years. I defeated my father, and that's when the emblem disappeared."

"I see..." she whispered. "That's why you were so angry when I asked…I'm sorry…"

"Forget about it," he replied getting up. He patted his face with the towel.

"I just feel bad now. I remember thinking back then…I remember thinking that it was pretty."

"I remember thinking you were an odd child," he said facing away from her. "It was creepy having you there all the time."

_Cr-Creepy? I'm creepy?_

"I got you a spirit because I thought you'd hang around her instead of with me, but you just followed me around more. I berated you every chance I got, but that didn't deter you either. I just didn't get it. As a matter of fact, I still don't." He looked at her now. "Are you a masochist?"

"No, I am not!" she cried, standing up. She stopped, then played with her hands. "I just…I…you…um..."

He gave her a quizzical look. "Well, while you're learning how to speak again, I'm taking a shower." He stepped into the stall.

_No…come back…I have something to say!_

She stood tall, eyes closed tight, her face still red.

"Ren!" No answer. "Ren…The truth is…I started following you around because I-,"

The water turned on.


	4. Aquaphobia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was hard to finally introduce Pin-Mei's main spirit, Ma Ying Taphan. I actually looked up famous female warriors (which there aren't a lot of), and finally chose Ma Ying, a leader of the female palace guards in Thailand. We're just going to pretend she was buried in China, okay?
> 
> Despite what the line may imply, Pin-Mei showers regularly.

"I'm so stupid,"

"Do not be so hard on yourself, Lady Pin-Mei. It is not an easy thing to do."

"I know but I had SUCH a good opportunity! We had a tender moment- it was perfect!"

"Forgive me, My Lady, but I think he was just being tender with himself, not you."

"Yeah…I guess you're right about that."

Pin-Mei was standing at the koi pond once again, this time not with Ren but her main spirit next to her - a woman dressed in feudal Chinese armor, but with a gentle smile. She turned to her.

"Hey, Ma Ying?"

"Yes, My Lady?"

"Was your marriage arranged?"

"Like all women of my time, I went to a matchmaker to meet my husband."

"Did you love him?"

"Yes, very much so. He died for the king, the most honorable of ways to die."

"I see…"

"Are you thinking about Master Ren?"

"What about me?"

Pin-Mei jumped as Ren came up behind her, slipping and falling head first into the water. She flailed around like ten years before.

"Niisama! Are you trying to kill me?"

He sighed. "Stand up, you fool."

She did and revealed that the water only came up to her chest. Embarrassed, she waded over to the stone platform to get out as Ren laughed at her.

"What? Did you think you hadn't grown at all since then?" He was still holding back a laugh as he spoke. She frowned at him.

"I don't know. Can you still swim?"

Before he had a chance to answer her, she pushed him in. Now she was the one laughing. "To think that the 'great' Tao Ren was defeated so easily! You left yourself WIDE OPEN!"

"Bocchama!"

"Don't worry about him Bason, he'll be fine. He was the one who saved me, remember?"

Ma Ying looked worried. "Mistress…you pushed him into the deepest part of the pond."

Suddenly Pin-Mei wasn't laughing anymore. He hadn't come back up yet. As she waited, she bit her nail and kept telling herself he was alright, but soon couldn't take it anymore. She ran to the deep end and knelt down on the stone.

"Ren!" she cried out, leaning over the water. Ma Ying floated to her side instantly.

"My Lady, please do not do anything rash! Be careful!" she warned.

But her master wouldn't listen to her. "Ren!" she called out again.

He suddenly popped up from under the water. "Pin-Mei, you idiot!" he yelled at her. A sly smile formed and he reached for her arm and tugged on it. Her eyes widened in panic.

"No, Ren! Stop it!" she pleaded.

"Ha! Like I'm going to go easy on you!" He tugged a little harder.

"REN STOP IT!" she screamed.

Her shrill voice stunned him, making him immobile for a few moments. She freed herself from his grasp and ran into the house. Ren just stared after her. Ma Ying did the same, but their expressions were horribly different.

"What was that about?" he wondered aloud. Ma Ying turned to him.

"Bocchama, you see, the mistress still cannot swim. The water terrifies her."

* * *

 

Dinner that night was quiet. No one said anything, not even the adults. By the end, Ren almost  _wanted_  to catch Pin-Mei staring at him. She never even looked at him. Her eyes were in a fixed daze, almost as if she was asleep, awakening only to eat a bit of her rice. When everyone was done eating, she calmly and obediently placed the dishes in the sink, then walked up to her room. Ma Ying was waiting for her inside.

"My Lady, why has that incident affected you so?" she asked.

"I don't know. I honestly don't," Pin-Mei replied sitting on the bed. "Maybe that selfish part of me is upset because he didn't remember what happened."

"If you carry this around with you, you will only become more and more tired. It is best to travel with the least number of bags that you can. Furthermore, it does not mean that he did not remember what happened."

Her mistress gave a small laugh. "It's always like you to say wise things like that," she said. She stood up. "But I suppose you're right. I can't let this get me down. If I want him to notice me, I have to smile. No one wants to be around a depressed person all the time." Her smile got bigger. "Thank you, Ma Ying. You're the reason why I don't need a mom."

Ma Ying chuckled. "Do not say such nonsense!"

"I'm going to take a shower!" Pin-Mei said triumphantly. She ran out the door.

"Ho-ho! Such spunk!" the spirit said.

* * *

 

"Ahh! It feels so good to be clean!" Pin-Mei exclaimed as she entered her room. She closed her eyes and did a childish twirl.

"I guess now you can see why I like it so much."

"Yes, you're ri-," she stopped. "Eh?"

There, sitting on the window sill, was Ren. Here she was, wet, and only a silk robe to cover her. She wanted to scream.

"What are you doing here, Niisama?"

"I wasn't aware that I needed a reason to come and see my guests. It  _is_  my house after all."

"Yes, you're right… Sorry…"

"Stop being so timid. It's creepy."

_I'm creepy again…._

"You were a lot more interesting when you were putting that Dadao to my neck."

_NOW who's the masochist?_  "Huh?"

"I just mean that if you have to be here, you might as well entertain me."

"Oh…"

"And..." He scratched the back of his head. "I shouldn't have tried to pull you into the pond. I didn't think you'd still sink like a stone."

"It's okay."  _Gee, some apology._

"Well, I'm going to bed." He got up and started walking towards her on his way to the door.

"Okay…"  _Here he comes Pin-Mei, do something!_

He went to go around her, but she got in his way and wrapped her arms around him.

"Good night, Niisama," she whispered.

Ren, his arms still free, was caught between a rock and a hard place.

_What the hell? Now what's she doing? Oh Gods, what do I do? She'll cry if I push her away, but I sure as hell don't want to hug her back…_

He patted her head, a small smile on his face. "Good night, pest."

She looked up at him, perplexed. He froze, wondering if he had done the wrong thing.

_Oh crap… Now what should I do? Honestly, this girl…_

"…That's the first time you've really smiled at me," she said beaming.  _Wow, I'm so happy!_

He was surprised at her reaction, but he accepted it nonetheless. As she had her eyes closed in a happy smile, his eyes softened.

_Maybe she's not just a pest,_ he thought.

He removed himself from her embrace and continued on to the door. Before leaving, an idea popped into his head.

"Hey," he said, causing her to turn around. "Meet me outside tomorrow." He grinned slyly. "Don't wear a skirt.”


	5. More Fears, and Pain

_"Ren-Niisama…"_

_He groaned. "What is it now?" he said briskly as he worked a rowing machine._

_"Remember that thing we spoke about earlier today?" the four-year-old said quietly. Her hands were behind her back and she was swinging gently from side to side._

_"What about it?" He was still concentrating on what he was doing, not even glancing at her._

_"Um…can we do it?"_

_"What did I say about the conditions for doing it?"_

_"We'd do it after dinner if I didn't annoy you."_

_"What do you think you're doing now?"_

_She looked hurt. "Annoying you?" she ventured._

_"Bingo," he said flatly. Her face fell even more. "Go cry to your mom. Like I said, it's not my responsibility to get you a spirit."_

_"My mom's not here," Pin-Mei replied quietly._

_"Then when you go home. You know what I mean."_

_"She's not at home."_

_"Well then where is she, hm? Out with another man? Hope your parents aren't just dumping you on us."_

_The next thing he knew, his nose was bleeding and Pin-Mei was gone. He looked around and spotted a bloody two pound barbell on the floor near him. After putting his hand to his nose and confirming the blood factor, he angrily picked up the weight and threw it at the wall, making a hole._

_'That damn brat!' he thought as he stormed out of the room. 'She's going to be so dead once I find her!'_

_He walked quickly down the hall in search of the little girl. When he rounded a corner, he bumped into his mother. He almost just passed her, continuing on his way, but…_

_"Ren, come here."_

_He turned, about to tell her that he was busy, but was met by a harsh hand. His face burned, a sensation almost foreign to his body. Stunned, and with wide eyes, he touched his cheek._

_"Mother…"_

_"That was for what you said to Pin-Mei. You should know better," she said in a calm voice. "You and Jun are lucky to have had me all your lives, but she has not been as fortunate."_

_"What are you talking about?"_

_"Xu Hua, her mother, died shortly after giving birth to her. What do you think life is like for a child with no mother, and with a father who has so many women at his beck and call? Are you aware of the backlash a child receives from their relatives when their mother dies giving birth to them?"_

_She began walking away._

_"You think about that, Ren." Soon, she was out of sight._

_As the warm stinging on his cheek faded, so did his anger. Despite the fact that she was nothing but a bother to him, it was clear that he had gone a little too far. It was then that he decided to go look for her. A flash of light entered from the many large windows in the hallway, soon followed by the crackling of thunder. He ignored it and went about the rooms in search of her._

_For almost an hour he searched for the little girl, but he still did not find her. Even after going back and opening all the cabinets in the house there was no sign of her. After searching the last room, he was about to give up._

_'I've even looked in the places that are too small for her to fit into… where the hell could she have gone?'_

_After another flash of lightning and boom of thunder, he looked to the nearby window, his eyes wide._

_"She wouldn't…" he whispered to himself. The rain poured down and clung to the window panes, gathering before falling to the ground. He couldn't even see out of them; they were too fogged up. What if she was out there? Unable to rule out the possibility, he turned and ran out of the room._

_Multiple times, while running down the halls, he would almost collide with a servant, but managed to dodge them. It was at times like these that made him curse his large home. There were too many places to look and halls to run down. Yet, he finally reached the hallway leading to yard._

_He ran and slammed the sliding door open._

* * *

 

"I see you showed up," he said with a cocky smile.

Pin-Mei was standing on the porch before him dressed as he had requested: in a shirt and shorts, no skirt. "Of course I did!" she cried, pouting. "What? You were expecting me to chicken out?"

He smirked. "You're going to wish you had when you find out what we're doing."

She looked at him suspiciously. "What do you mean?"

"You'll find out."

He guided her away from the yard, through a field and eventually to a lake of crystal clear water. Looking back at her, Ren could already see the discomfort on her face.

"W-What are we going to do here, Niisama?"

"Today, you're going to learn how to swim."

" _WHAT?_ " She took a few steps back. "No way! Absolutely NO WAY! I did NOT sign up for this!" She started to run back up the hill to safety.

Ren sighed. He ran and easily caught up with her, grabbing her arm. "I'm taking time out of my day to do this, so be a little more grateful," he said in an annoyed tone. "Besides, are you saying you don't trust me?"

His question caught her by surprise. She bowed her head slightly in shame. "I…I do…"

"Alright then, let's go." He started back down the bank, then turned around and realized she wasn't following him. After a deep calming breath, he marched up to her, took her wrist, and then marched back down again. "Listen, I realize you're scared, but if you're a baby about it, it'll just piss me off. You're not four anymore so don't act like it."

Pin-Mei gave her wrist a shake in an act of defiance. "If you DID understand then you'd be a little nicer about it." A dark grin formed on her face. "Of course, considering how great you are, you've never been scared, so how would you know how I feel?" The grin faded when he looked back at her, a doleful expression on his face.

They were at the edge of the water. He made her take off her shoes while he did the same, in addition to his shirt. After taking her wrist again, he stopped before heading into the water.

"Don't think I've never been afraid," he said without looking at her. "I've had to do things although I was afraid…I'm human too, you know."

At that instant, Pin-Mei felt a deep pang in her heart. She knew then why the water had been turned on before she could confess to him. This "love" that she had for him simply wasn't deep enough. Not yet. If it had been, she would have never said something so thoughtless.

 _I'll wait,_  she thought, closing her eyes.  _I'll wait until I'm not a child anymore before I say it. It will mean nothing otherwise._  She opened her eyes again. "Ren, I—,"

"Let's go," he said, cutting her off. "And don't be afraid. I won't let you drown."

She only nodded and made a small sound of agreement before allowing him to guide her into the water. A tear ran down her face that she quickly wiped away.

_Thank you._


End file.
